sudden sudden urge to blog.
so many things going through my mind now.
as in WHOA much.

the thing i think about most is,
me just being too damn paranoid.
i keep feeling that some people are angry/irritated/hating me.
seriously, who likes this damn feeling?
i dont. at all.
it just keeps coming to me.
you, you, and you.
feel guilty anyone? dont.
its my fault in the first place for making you angry/irritated/hateful.
why do i think so much!! damn.

and, im lagging so much in studies i think?
especially math and econs.
econs is -.-, math too.
how am i going to survive this man!
and im going to give tuition to ppl soon? wow.
and every time i'm asked to explain a question,
i get this surge of panic.
nothing comes out of my mind correctly,
nothing i say makes sense,
nothing gets done.
my heart races.
and POOF, everythings gone.

and my very measly body.
fat, weak.
cant do shit during pe, cant do shit during sports.
i get a panic attack everytime before pe.
as in EVERY TIME.
my heart will beat damn fast,
i will feel like going to the toilet.
i tell myself i will be able to do it, better, everytime.
nope. doesnt happen.
i need someone to force me to do something about this.
someone?
urgh.

damn, emo post.
too many things going through my mind i guess.
ciao.